


Dulce et Decorum est

by krasnayazorya



Category: King's Maker (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Victorian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cadet Wolfgang, Characters Making Bad Decisions, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, In a way, M/M, Milf-Coded Shin Soohyuk, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Shin Soohyuk Sleeps with Other People, Slow Burn, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:14:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28465899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krasnayazorya/pseuds/krasnayazorya
Summary: And even if you want something, act like you do not.Shin comes back home, and Shin falls in love.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Wolfgang Goldenleonard & Shin Soohyuk, Wolfgang Goldenleonard/Shin Soohyuk
Comments: 22
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After being totally bullied into this, it's finally here. This story is based, in a hand-wavey way, on the movie the Barber of Siberia, from which the opening train scene was adapted. It also includes some hand-wavey historical references and allusions, but no definitive date is set - assume sometime during the late 1800s. The entirety of my knowledge of military academies is also only based on the film itself, since I cannot care less about men shooting things unless it is Wolfgang and he has his tits out. 
> 
> Happy reading!

Outside of the windows, it was snowing.

Returning during winter was not ideal. Both Shin and Sys planned to stay in France for at least half a year longer before travelling back to the latter’s estate, so that they could avoid the choppy weather conditions out at sea and the freezing temperatures of England from the comfort of his holiday home in Champs-Élysées. It took Sys the better part of the previous winter to convince Shin to accompany him on his yearly trip, and then most of the spring to pack everything that Shin considered necessary. There were lists upon _lists_ until Shin no longer fretted about leaving something behind, but in the end, he was dragged out to sea and to the pleasant airy apartment in one of Paris’ nicest neighbourhoods.

After a letter arrived notifying them of the Duke of Ulysses’ untimely illness, their holiday had to be cut short – Sys vehemently insisted that Shin stayed and enjoyed the rest of the Parisian winter, but Shin had no intention of encroaching on Sys’ hospitality any longer.

Besides, his own father wrote to him a month prior about a job opening, where Shin would finally not have to run papers through at the bank, and actually use his knowledge as he should.

When Shin looked up at a particularly bumpy section of the train tracks, Sys grumbled at him.

“I still think you should have stayed, you know.”

“And done what?” Shin asked mildly, closing the book in his lap. “I don’t make friends like you.”

“Anything would probably be better than hearing your mother nag about marriage every day.”

“I _love_ my mother,” Shin replied. “Anyway, you are not married either.”

Sys laughed, snapping open the fan in his hand, which perfectly matched his outfit in a deep, burgundy red with a gold trim on the handle. “Haven’t you read the papers? I am a _degenerate_ , a despicable little bastard. They’ll hold a funeral for any possible wife of mine.”

Shin snorted.

“Have some champagne, darling.”

As Sys poured champagne out for the two of them, several carriage doors slammed open and closed. Loud voices apologised profusely in unison for the disturbance in the corridor.

Their carriage was no exception – the door slid open, and three heads peeked in in unison. After seeing that it was mostly empty, they filed in, one after the other.

“Sorry sirs, sorry sirs. Truly very sorry,” One of them babbled, hands folded in front of their uniform.

Shin and Sys exchanged a look.

“The conductor will have our asses – sorry – if he catches us.”

Shin’s eyes caught on the youth who spoke. He was tall, with broad shoulders and an even broader smile. His thick golden hair seemed blinding even in the poor lighting of the shaking carriage, and Shin had to internally shake himself when he caught his gaze; it was so heavy he felt pinned under it.

“What do you think, Shin? Should we let these handsome men stay?” Sys smiled behind his fan, looking over the group with narrowed eyes.

Appraising them silently, Shin pursed his lips, and then pushed open the partition door with the toe of his shoe.

All of them rushed mumbled _thank you’s_ as they tried to fold three strong and tall bodies into the small adjacent compartment, somehow, against all odds, fitting one on top of the other closely enough to shove the sliding doors closed again.

When the conductor looked in, he only saw Shin and Sys sitting quietly and sipping their complimentary champagne. He greeted them politely, and immediately stepped out, deciding that bothering Lord Sys and his companion was not going to be the overstep that gets him fired.

All three men tumbled out when Shin pushed the partition open. 

Shin had half a mind to insist that they all leave their train carriage, since the danger passed, but they all looked so hopeful crowding together in the space between Shin and Sys that he only sighed.

“Who did we have the pleasure of saving?” Sys asked, lowering his fan.

The three men introduced themselves as Cadets Wolfgang, Randolph and Gareth. They, in return, learnt the names of the passengers, and leaned forward to shake their hands. 

When Wolfgang’s hand lingered a little too long in holding Shin’s through his thin white glove, thumb gently sweeping down his wrist, Shin pretended not to notice. 

Shin had to admit, begrudgingly, that they all were very handsome. Sitting in their uniforms, with their collars done up tight under their chins, they were all straight lines and thick arms. 

“Right. We won’t bother you any longer, we can wait in the corridor until the station.” Randolph said, pulling at Wolfgang’s arm. 

“Shut up,” Wolfgang said, lightheartedly, shoving Randolph’s hand off. 

An angry flush spread up Randolph’s neck. “Don’t shut m-”

“Can’t you see they need bodyguards?”

It was one of the most blatant, obvious attempts at inserting oneself into the scene that Shin has ever been witness to. The way that Wolfgang said it, with such an honest, open face, made Shin want to laugh. “Get out,” He said instead, covering his smile with his hand. 

“No, wait.” Wolfgang grinned, leaning forward. “Can we have some champagne?” 

Shin levelled Wolfgang with a look, and the young man stared back, completely unabashed at both his request and at looking at Shin so openly. Shin leaned back, crossing one leg over the other and patted his trousers free of an imaginary crease. “Can you handle your drink?”

“No, he can’t,” Gareth answered for Wolfgang. 

On his way out, practically being pushed by his two friends, Wolfgang turned his head back, sending Shin a happy, lopsided little smile, one that made Shin thumb the cover of his book, something squeezing in his ribcage. 

He was no stranger to handsome men. Especially younger, handsome men of the tall and muscular variety, who, inadvertently, he found himself around a lot due to Lord Sys’ proclivities. Sys liked to surround himself with beautiful people, and somewhere along the way Shin became used to it. He stopped blushing at the attention he was given and learnt how people flirt and flatter. He would never be quite at ease the same way that Sys was, but he was also no longer shy and inexperienced. 

“Shame; you sending them away.” Sys took a sip of his champagne.

“He was far too presumptuous.” Shin accepted a cigarette from Sys’ little silver holder, leaning over and allowing the other man to light it for him with a practised move of striking the match against the box, cupping his hands around the flame. They both knew exactly which one Shin meant. “I thought you didn’t like men like him?”

“Hm, no,” Sys said. “I like them a little _mean_.”

Shin looked out of the window. The hills, covered with snow, continued to roll by. He could still hear the idle chatter of the three military cadets outside of their carriage, barely audible from behind the door. A cheap scent of tobacco mixed in with Sys’ imports, and Shin realised that they were smoking outside, too. 

“Did you notice?” Sys spoke up again. “This Cadet Wolgang looked suspiciously like your newfound employer.” 

Shin stabbed out his cigarette. He had noticed. “Either he is too arrogant, or too obtuse for his own good.” He may have never seen General Goldenleonard in person, but a few photographs landed in his hands nonetheless. Though the plates could never flaunt the colour of his hair or his eyes, the facial resemblance was unavoidable. “If he really is his bastard, then studying right under his nose could destroy his military career before it even starts.”

Between the two of them, they finished the champagne, Sys clinking their flutes together with a short, airy laugh. 

“To the new financial advisor.”

* * *

They parted at the station. Sys had a carriage waiting to take him back to Duke Ulysses’ estate, and Shin would continue on to the military academy. Before Shin stepped away, allowing Sys to get into his carriage, the other man wrapped him up in his arms, fussing over him for another moment. 

“Be careful,” Sys said, brushing back Shin’s hair and straightening his glasses. Shin huffed, trying to get away from his friend’s insistent touch, but relented in the end. He understood, very well, Sys’ need for affection. “If you need help, do not hesitate to write. You can come by whenever, and father will be very happy to see you, you know.”

“I promise.” The concern was not misplaced. Though Sys did not say it, Shin knew what was rattling about in his brain. There were plenty of rumours about General Goldenleonard to go around, from bribery to sexual misconduct to placing his three useless sons in government, but Shin was convinced that if he worked hard and stayed in his own business, those rumours would not come to bite him back. “Come and see me when you have given your father your care.” He squeezed Sys’ arm. 

With a quick kiss to both his cheeks and a final worried look, Sys stepped up into the carriage and urged the driver on. 

Shin’s own trip did not take him long. The military academy was situated not far from the city centre, warded off from the main street by a wrought iron fence. Despite the connotation of a _military academy_ , there was nothing drab or grey about it. It was built for opulence; with what Shin guessed were dome ceilings and sweeping rooms. A sure sign of General Goldenleonard’s wealth and prestige. 

Looking at the buildings, Shin ran through a carefully constructed map in his mind. He managed to borrow some drawings of the architecture earlier and was aware of the basics of the layout. He remembered that the cadet quarters were situated in the left wing, and thus predicted that his promised rooms were in the right, along with those of the fencing master, some of the permanent tutors, and General Goldenleonard himself.

The cadets were all already gathered in the courtyard, shuffling through their formations in the newly-fallen snow. Shin’s vision, even in his glasses, could not pinpoint whether the three men he met were amongst them. 

“Shin Soohyuk,” Shin said to the instructor once he disembarked from the cab, who stopped barking some sort of orders and approached him. “The new finance advisor. I have attendance with General Goldenleonard.” He passed the letter approving his status of employment through the gates. 

Not bothering to read it, the instructor let Shin through the gates, pausing with his hands on his hips as he stared at the lines of young men.

A hushed whisper had broken out amongst themselves the moment that Shin descended from the cab. Shin did not let the embarrassment show on his features; this was nothing new, and he had heard all of it before. The way he looked, so obviously a foreigner no matter how he dressed, would never escape a gossipy crowd. They could ogle him all they wanted, see if it made a difference to him. At the end of the day, _he_ would be the one handing them their stipend. 

“Wolfgang Luccia!” 

A crisp ‘yes, sir’ sounded from the middle ranks.

The golden head that Shin could not spot from behind the gates came into view. Seeing this young man in the middle of a grey and sullen day was like watching the sun break through the heavy clouds, and Shin — Shin was painfully unused to such reactions.

“Break formation and show Mr Shin to General Goldenleonard’s office.” The instructor jerked his chin.

Wolfgang jumped to it, grinning, looking like he was about to take Shin under the arm and see his job through very seriously if Shin had not taken the initiative himself and begun swiftly walking to the main entrance.

In quick steps, Wolfgang beat him to the door, holding it open for Shin to enter. He schooled his expression into one of absolute innocence when Shin deigned to look at him, hands held behind back as they stepped through what Shin had rightfully guessed to be a lavish, gold-adorned entrance hall. 

“I was right, you know,” Wolfgang said conversationally as he led Shin up a sweeping staircase. 

“About what?”

“That you need a bodyguard.” Wolfgang grinned, so bright that Shin had a sudden urge to squint. In the opulent decor of the academy, the young man looked right at home, not a hint of the bastard child that Shin assumed he would be. “You’re too _pretty_.”

Shin pursed his lips. _Pretty_. 

“And you’re an arrogant boy,” He told him. 

“Sure,” Wolfgang agreed, stopping Shin with a hand to his shoulder. “His office is through there. Here - wait.” He gestured, “Let me hold your coat.”

Shin looked at him - really _looked_ at him, at his open and enthusiastic face, his hands held out to take Shin’s coat. Maybe it was not right of him to make use of his earnestness so, or the apparent liking that he took to Shin, but he turned around, allowing Wolfgang to peel off his coat himself, slide it off his shoulders and carefully fold it over his arm. “You can hold my gloves, too,” Shin said, haughtily, taking them off and pressing them into Wolfgang’s chest. “I don’t want to see a speck on them.” 

He did not look at Wolfgang as he rapped sharply at the door, announcing his presence before entering. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivaldi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was certainly an interesting chapter to write. I listened to about 10 cantatas/different styles of chamber music for it and did some research (minimal, chamber music experts please do not squint too hard at this). As little historical notes: though deconstructing Shin's background, I am aware that diplomacy was not really a thing that existed between Joseon and the West, which is why I am using modern terminology to keep a more obscure time period. Please assume that Shin's father acquired his position through other travel. 
> 
> I made some more historical and translation references in the end notes.

Shin moved into the right wing on that very same day. His rooms, connected to what would be his office for the near future, had been prepared beforehand. Undoubtedly plenty of money went into the interior, more than Shin would expect for a financial advisor, least of all one that had not gone through an introductory period yet. He could try to believe that the confidence was borne from his good credentials, received from the banks he worked at, but reality made him doubt it - the higher class mixed amongst each other, and credentials meant very little in the grand scheme of things. General Goldenleonard was either trying to display his wealth, or had ulterior motives to treat Shin like a treasured guest. The former was unlikely, Shin was not high enough in social standing for that, and there was no evidence for the latter, so he was left wondering for the time being. 

General Goldenleonard was exactly how Shin expected him to be. Ostentatiously wealthy, the hand shaking Shin’s upon his arrival to his office weighed with numerous bejewelled rings, but in a way that broked no accusation of vulgarity. He dressed well, in a facsimile of a military uniform, but one made in light, memorable colours, rather than dark blue. His hair was well-kept and thick despite his age, and gathered in an old-fashioned ponytail that, despite being outdated, suited his features. 

He also suffered from a condition distinct to the Western man; the need to possess others. 

It was not something unfamiliar to Shin. He learnt the curiosity that people in England exuded whenever they saw someone like Shin or his parents from a young age. At twelve, Shin was fluent in Korean, Mandarin and English, and spoke almost exclusively in French whenever he met with Sys. This allowed him to sit in the room when his father saw people in his office and follow their conversations even if he understood none of the political jargon or relevance. More often than not, it left him endlessly frustrated. Before being witness to it, Shin had lofty ideas about his father’s job; that he discussed important matters of state or had any influence on the laws that were passed. He quickly realised that, a lot of the time, people came to see his father out of simple curiosity; a desire to see what was different about him and were more disappointed than impressed at his lack of accent and traditional dress. 

When they realised that they could not make a spectacle out of his father, people often turned their eyes onto Shin. When it was inappropriate to touch an adult’s hair or make a comment on their appearance out of sheer forced British politeness, they had no such reservations with a child, and Shin found himself growing used to offhand comments and unsolicited touches early on. In a way, he was thankful for it - it made the disappointment of adulthood out in the world so much less painful. 

General Goldenleonard represented in him, quite perfectly, the type of man that Shin grew well-familiar with as he began to show himself in society. When he touched Shin’s hand, he did it with the air of someone who was curious to touch, and when he looked at him he let his eyes roam openly and without shame. Nothing of it reminded Shin of the boyish way that the cadets, just earlier that morning, gazed at him, their eyes wide and awed at the two men seated in a drab and brown train carriage. 

Shin knew his precarious position, and so Shin would play along. 

For a while, at least. Until he could show his potential. 

Shin put away his books.

There was not much to unpack. His suitcases and trunk were brought up from the cab and set in his room, but there were not many. Shin always packed everything necessary but stayed minimal; his wardrobe and some novels he enjoyed, the offhand trinket he purchased during his travels with Sys. All the financial records had been placed in his office already and were dated accordingly, neatly arranged even to Shin’s meticulous taste. 

“Mr Shin?” Someone knocked. 

Setting down the book he was holding back into the trunk, Shin straightened. “Come in.”

A young man poked his head in, nervously shuffling his feet. “General Goldenleonard has finished his meeting. He told me to inform you, Mr Shin, that he will come in a few minutes to show you around the academy himself.” 

“Thank you.” When Shin noticed that the young man did not move, he smiled encouragingly, waving his hand. “You may take your leave now.” Once given permission, the young man quickly left, leaving Shin wondering whether it was him who was truly so intimidating, or if the staff avoided their employer like their lives depended on it. 

True to his word, the general arrived not ten minutes later. 

He took Shin through the academy, introducing him to the permanent staff living in the right wing. The corridors in the central building were intended for classrooms; not all were in use, some padlocked, but a majority had plaques with the tutors’ names on them and the subject they taught. Several were being conducted at the same time, Shin hearing the irritated bark of German trying to calm a ruckus of students. 

“I hear you are fluent in a number of languages?” 

“Yes,” Shin answered, lip curling up slightly. “Though I am only passable at German.”

They descended down the stairs to the main floor, where the dining rooms, both official and for the cadets, were situated. General Goldenleonard steered Shin to the biggest doors instead, carved out from gold-coated wood. 

“We are to host a ball next month, together with the Ladies Institute. I hope Mr Shin will attend, it is always a grand event and a good opportunity to socialise.” The way the general phrased it broke no question; if Shin were to refuse, it would be considered impolite. 

“Of course.” Shin did not like social events. “I would be very happy to.” 

The doors opened to a vast room with a hanging chandelier, the heavy curtains were drawn back from the windows and light spilled in, reflecting off the crystals. The ballroom was left empty, but Shin knew that in a matter of weeks the tables will start to be brought in in preparation. 

There was also the sound of incessant scrubbing.

Shin looked down at the three figures polishing the floor off to the side. 

“Punishment,” General Goldenleonard told Shin when he saw his surprise. “Usually, we will have them do drills for a few hours, but it is snowing heavily.” 

The three men looked up. When Wolfgang saw Shin, he grinned. Shin ignored him, turning to the general. 

“Whatever for?”

“I received a telegram about how these three cadets were spotted taking a train they should not have been.” General Goldenleonard answered, nodding towards the three men, who quickly resumed scrubbing, “Coincidentally the same train that you arrived by with Lord Sys, if I am not mistaken. They did not bother you?”

He spoke in the veiled way that most gentry did, but Shin was well-versed in it. He schooled his face into disinterest and feigned utter ignorance. “No, not at all. I heard some voices from outside the carriage but did not realise they were your men.” 

“Ah, good.” Shin saw the older man’s eyes settle heavily on the cadets. “Cadet Wolfgang has been involved in a number of incidents already, I am afraid that any more would be a step towards expulsion.” 

Shin resisted swallowing heavily. “That is… most unfortunate.”

The ballroom doors opened again; a man similarly dressed to the one that had knocked on Shin’s office door saluted in front of General Goldenleonard. “My apologies, sir, I am here to inform you that Lord Digby has arrived for his audience.”

General Goldenleonard sighed heavily, pressing a hand to the small of Shin’s back. “I suppose the rest of the tour shall have to wait. Do not hesitate to come to my office if you need me.” He swept out of the ballroom with a short final look, and Shin felt the iron hold on his form ease.

He meant to turn around and leave himself to return to his rooms when Wolfgang’s voice called out, “Wait, Mr Shin!” 

Wolfgang had his uniform half unbuttoned; his pants rolled up to his ankles. He waved at Shin, quickly walking up to him. “Your gloves.” 

Glancing at his bare hands, Shin realised that he had, indeed, forgotten his gloves. Somewhere between taking back his coat from Wolfgang and shrugging it on, and directing the workers in carrying his luggage, they had completely slipped his mind.

Wolfgang quickly reached into the bosom of his overcoat, drawing out the pair of white gloves. “Here, not a speck, as per your wishes.” 

When Shin took them, they were still warm from Wolfgang’s body heat. Holding the gloves Shin, for some reason, felt like there was a piece of incriminating evidence resting right in the middle of his palm. His fingers curled around the material. “Thank you, cadet.”

“Would you allow me?” Wolfgang stepped up closer, taking back the gloves. In his shock, Shin accepted, extending his hand so that the younger man could slip the first glove on. His hands were gentle, head slightly bent down over Shin, leaving him a view of his neck. It was somewhat sweaty from the exertion of scrubbing the floor, hair curling slightly at the ends and sticking to his skin. 

Quietly, Shin passed him the other hand.

“Do not rise General Goldenleonard’s ire any further,” Shin murmured when both gloves were on, folding his hands in front of him. _Do not give cause to your father to push his promising bastard son out of society_ , he wished to say. 

“He will not do anything,” Wolfgang answered, self-assured. “I am too good.” 

“Wolfgang, you ass.” Randolph hissed from the corner. “Stop attempting to charm Mr Shin and _clean_.” 

With a light flush on his face, Shin made haste to leave. 

* * *

They kept seeing each other. 

Shin thought it would be harder, with the academy so vast, and him being burdened with sorting through accounts and the names of the cadets to begin the lists for distributing the stipends, Wolfgang caught up in classes or drills, but somehow, it was not. When Shin was carrying heavy books up to his office, Wolfgang was there to help him, hefting them easily in his arms and accompanying Shin to the right wing. When he was passing the classrooms on his way in or out of the academy, Wolfgang would break away from either Gareth and Randolph or the other cadets, waving in greeting. 

One time, when Shin was not working and out in town looking for a gift for Sys, he caught Wolfgang’s voice from the opposite end of the store, talking in hushed tones to Gareth. The shorter man kept glancing out from behind the shelves, and Shin smiled into his hand. 

From their snippets of conversation, Shin learnt that Wolfgang was the only son of Baroness[1] Christine Luccia, who still showed herself in ton during the season despite being unmarried and a mother. She was quite wealthy from several land holdings and stayed at the family estate during the colder months. With bright eyes, Wolfgang told him that Lady Luccia was now never seen without her new lion cub, gifted to her by one of her admirers from his travels to Africa. 

When Shin asked Wolfgang, lightly, whether his mother planned to marry such an admirer, Wolfgang laughed _. She said she would marry over her dead body – she already has one son, what does she need another for?_

It was not that Shin encouraged Wolfgang’s interest. He was young, and Shin supposed that, apart from the rare occurrence when the Ladies’ Institute joined the military academy for events, he had little interaction with women. Shin could not blame him, when someone new and different became a constant presence amongst familiar faces, it was understandable what Wolfgang might want. Always surrounded by young men full of emotions and desires, it was expected. 

There would be no harm in indulging him. As long as his attentions were to remain unnoticed by his father, Shin would let them run their course. 

He would not be the one to break Wolfgang’s heart. 

Shin almost did not notice how Wolfgang’s accompanying him with his books to his office turned into the young man staying, sitting opposite him and bouncing his leg as he repeated his French conjugation tables under his breath but, somehow, it _happened_. In the slow and syrupy flow of time, amidst the constant papers and numbers, Wolfgang became a rare, but nonetheless present, fixture in his office. 

“What do you like, Mr Shin?” Wolfgang asked, thumbing the tip of a pen until the nib burst out a droplet of ink onto his skin. 

Shin did not look up from his paperwork. What did he like? He liked numbers. He liked the colour blue, especially when mixed together, lights and darks clashing like the turn of the day into night. He liked Sys, and when Sys smiled in that way that made Shin feel warm in the crack of his ribs, because Shin never did think of himself as a person who had the ability to make others smile. “Music,” He said, “I like music.”

“Alright.” Wolfgang leaned on the desk with his elbows. Shin frowned at him, but the cadet did not move. “I shall give you music. I will go and purchase tickets to the orchestra, or an opera, and we can go together.”

“Do not forget, Cadet Wolfgang, I am the one who distributes your stipend.” Shin shuffled the paper along. “You do not get paid until next month.”

“Then I shall go and borrow money from my mother.”

That made Shin raise his eyes. “You would ask your mother for money to – take a man to a concert?”

“If she saw you, she would approve.” 

“Alright.” Shin closed the book he was referencing. She would not approve, and Wolfgang would hopefully forget the matter entirely when he realised he would not be able to borrow the necessary funds. “It is the height of the season, if you manage to procure tickets, I will go with you.”

Wolfgang almost broke the pen in his hand in his excitement, and Shin had to quickly confiscate it. 

Wolfgang did procure tickets. He pulled Shin aside and showed them to him, proudly. They were to a somewhat smaller performance, with a niche demographic, but from a prestigious company nonetheless. “I did not know what you would like, but I asked mother - so I hope you will enjoy yourself.” 

Shin took one of the tickets, wondering where Wolfgang found two seats in the balcony boxes, and how exactly he lied to his mother. “I do like Vivaldi,” He told him, because he _did_ promise. 

They met in front of the concert hall. Shin did not doubt that, as careless of his image and reputation as Wolfgang has been thus far, that he would have gladly accompanied Shin on a single cab, therefore it was up to Shin to save face for them both. 

It was the first time he saw Wolfgang without his uniform. Some part of his brain, the one that had uninvitedly thought about Wolfgang in the time before the concert, had supplied the theory that the cadet would undoubtedly wear a formal version instead, like he was supposed to at the ball. It would have been marginally easier, having gotten used to the cut and flattering shape on his wide frame.

Instead, Wolfgang greeted him dressed like a civilian. At least the boy had enough sense for that, Shin thought shrewdly, to not announce his position at Goldenleonard’s. It suited him in a vastly different way; the deep maroon of his jacket made his hair and eyes gleam brighter, and the cravat made a crisp knot under his chin.

Wolfgang made the vision of a perfect young lord. One that he would never be in his lifetime.

“Mr Shin, you look…” It took a moment for Wolfgang to find the right word, “Wonderful. You look simply wonderful, Mr Shin.”

Shin smiled faintly as they followed the line inside the concert hall. “You have not even seen what I am wearing, Cadet Wolfgang.” 

Wolfgang shook his head, laughing. “I do not have to.”

Shin knew he was not poor looking - not at all. Plenty of men in France could support that statement, and yet all he did differently was set his hair with pomade and powder his face. Wolfgang’s reaction was quite sweet. 

In the cloakroom, Shin slipped his coat off his shoulders and handed it to the attendant, watching Wolfgang do the same. He did not miss the slight uptick in the taller man’s jaw, nor the way his eyes widened a fraction as they took in the way the dark blue fabric lay, hugging all of Shin’s angles and curves. 

The suit was commissioned by Sys a year back, just in time for Shin’s birthday. He had only worn it out to a handful of occasions before this opportunity with Wolfgang, but it received the most heartfelt sighs from his best friend every time. Lord Sys had not been tight with his funds and ordered a well-known tailor that stuck so closely to Shin’s measurements he could barely move at the waist. 

And Sys did always say that Shin had such a tiny waist. 

They mounted the steps to the balconies, Wolfgang behind Shin. Shin had half a mind to ask whether he wanted to look, or if it was simply because of etiquette, but restrained himself. The nervousness, despite all of his bravado with the tickets earlier, was palpable, and although Shin could be quite cruel with pointing out the faults in advances of inexperienced men, he did not wish to discourage Wolfgang for when he finally began courting ladies. 

“Quite frankly, I do not know what cantatas mean,” Wolfgang confessed as they seated themselves in the two-person box. “I know Vivaldi was Italian, but—”

“Chamber music,” Shin said, “Only a few instruments, because it was meant for smaller spaces. For more intimate audiences.”

The lamps were dimmed, and their box was cast into darkness. Candles were lit on the stage as the instrumentalists and a female singer came to their places, the light illuminating their feet and the smooth wood of their instruments. 

Barely any of the light reached their box, but the reflection from the gold accents of the walls flickered the flames across Wolfgang’s face when Shin turned his head to look at him. 

Shin carefully folded his hands in his lap. 

“Some of Vivaldi’s were religious in nature, though cantatas were never meant for the church.” 

The woman’s voice began to rise. Her alto was sombre; velvety. Shin felt goosebumps travel along his arms despite it being almost stuffy in the box. _En Rex universorum_. [2]

“What is she saying?” Wolfgang whispered. 

“She is mourning.” 

“For what?”

“Her king. The son of God,” The strings plucked louder. “I would not know; I was raised secularly.”

_Plorent cuncta creata_ [3]. In Shin’s life thus far there had been little place for religion. He knew, in the same way that children vaguely knew the history of their parents, that his family had practiced something entirely different to church and God, but that ebbed away the longer his father stayed. They did not begin attending church, either – and so Shin was left stranded in the middle, both aware, but unknowing, of either faith. 

Wolfgang grew restless during the performance. Though his interest was evident, and he truly tried to understand, leaning forward and squinting his eyes at the stage, he could not parse the language or understand the context. He breathed a sigh of relief when the strings finally ceased for more than a moment, and the woman’s voice slowly faded out. 

He grew curious when a man replaced the woman onstage. 

“Is he… you know--?” Wolfgang asked Shin, looking alarmed. 

“No, that was outlawed twenty years ago. Hush,” Shin shushed Wolfgang as the harpsichord began playing the melody. 

_Ah, ch’infelice sempre mi vuol Dorilla ingrata,_ [4]

“This is different,” Wolfgang pointed out, his voice pitched quieter. He shifted to the edge of his seat so that he could hear Shin’s answer. 

_ah, sempre più spietata,_

_ah, sempre più spietata [5]_

“He is not singing about God,” He murmured. “He is singing about his lover.”

_Per me non v’è ristoro,_

_per me non v’è più spene._

“She has shunned him,” Shin continued, bringing his head closer to Wolfgang’s, lips almost whispering into his ear. “Yet he still loves her.” Even from here, he could feel the heat coming from Wolfgang’s neck. If they were still under the light of the lamps, Shin was sure he could have seen the flush above his collar. 

_E il fier martoro e le mie pene,_

_solo la morte può consolar. [6]_

“He sees no respite for himself apart from death.”

Wolfgang turned his head to him, their cheeks momentarily brushing together. In the dark, he reached for Shin’s hand, warm where it rested on his knee. He took it in his own, fingers intertwining, sharing the heat between them. And Shin -- Shin allowed it, turning over his hand slowly so that their palms slotted together perfectly. 

“Does he earn back her love? Tell me what is happening,” Wolfgang whispered. 

_vengo, spechi graditi,_

_alfine meco in volto_

_in mio tormento in voi resti sepolto. [7]_

“He is going to die.” 

As the anger in the singer’s voice raised, his falsetto climbing higher, Wolfgang’s hand tightened around Shin’s. Like this, they listened, hands and shoulders pressed together and breath almost mixing from their proximity. 

_Andrò d’Acheron_

_te su la nera sponda,_

_tingendo quest’onda_

_di sangue innocente [8]_

“And when he dies, he will exact revenge on her, in Hades.” Shin finished. He wondered, in brief, of why his love was compared to that of Achilles, washing the river red with Trojan blood. Had Achilles been driven mad with grief, enough to hate Patroclus, for leaving him?

_ed ombra baccante_

_vendet ta farò. [9]_

Wolfgang closed the final breath of distance between them, his lips pressing to Shin’s like an open candle flame. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1Several Baron titles were able to be inherited by women, if there were no sons in the family.
> 
> 2Behold the King of all
> 
> 3And all creation mourn.
> 
> 4Ah, ungrateful Dorilla / wants me to continue suffering;
> 
> 5ah, always more unmercifully
> 
> 6 Only death will quench / my pain and sadness
> 
> 7 I come, hospitable places, / until at last, destroyed by my grief,
> 
> 8I'll go to the grim / edges of Acheron, / soiling that river / with innocent blood
> 
> 9and, like the dark Bacchante, / I will exact revenge.
> 
> The two cantatas used are Filiae Mestae Jerusalem and Cessate, omai Cessate.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ars Amatoria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe  
> Love is a banquet on which we feed  
> Song: Because the Night - Patti Smith
> 
> Here it is, after an entire month. I am very sorry for the delay; I was caught up in a different project, but hopefully the smut and story progression makes it up to you. 
> 
> Please check the updated tags on the fic. This chapter has very briefly mentioned homophobia, explicit sexual content and, related to the sexual content, misunderstandings. Because of this, I want to give some warnings at the end notes if you are unsure if you can consume content of (slightly) dubious nature, but rest assured that both Wolfgang and Shin are very much into what is happening, they are just horrible at talking.

Wolfgang’s lips tasted faintly of wine. They pressed so softly against Shin’s that he felt a knot tie itself in his chest, from the tenderness of Wolfgang’s touch and his slightly clammy hands as they nervously twitched in Shin’s. Did he drink before to calm his nerves? Shin could imagine it clearly - getting dressed in the cadets’ rooms, being pulled into the cloth by Gareth, plied with wine to stop talking by Randolph. Or, perhaps, he had not stayed with the cadets at all, and had his mother choose his suit for him, all whilst thinking that he was going to town to see a well-established lady, one that he would possibly bring home for her to meet. Did he sneak into her liquor cabinet when she retired; a glass for a lie well spun? 

It did not matter. His lips tasted sweet, and while his hands fluttered his kiss did not. 

The light slowly began to prickle at Shin’s eyes, and he reeled back, taking a gasp in between parted lips, hands leaving Wolfgang’s as he put a safe space between them. 

Wolfgang looked horrified. “Shin, I - my apologies, I should have asked, it was most -”

Discreetly, Shin placed a hand on Wolfgang’s knee. “The chandeliers,” He murmured, looking above them. While they had been preoccupied between themselves, feeling the warmth of hands and kisses, the chandeliers had been relit, and their box, while private, would not have been hidden from prying eyes. 

“Oh,” Wolfgang breathed, his eyes having travelled back to Shin’s lips. 

Unconsciously, he seemed to lean in further, as if pulled towards Shin. Shin knew he had to put a stop to it. If not for society’s sake, then for Wolfgang’s own. Did he know what he was doing, when he kissed him? Or was he simply overtaken by the music, forgetting who Shin was, forgetting that Shin was a man - a man who was older than him, employed by his father, bastard or not, no less. 

“We must leave.” Shin stood up abruptly, “It would not do us well to arrive back at the academy too late, after all of the other cadets return for the night.” 

“Shin,” Wolfgang followed him, reaching out to grasp his wrist, “If I offended you, I did not mean to. I simply - I thought you were not opposed.”

“I was not,” Shin stopped. “Opposed.” At that moment, kissing Wolfgang was the only thing that made sense to him. There was no other natural progression to their night that could have occurred. He sighed, carefully unwrapping Wolfgang’s fingers from around his wrist. “We will talk in the cab.”

Wolfgang did not pressure him, nor did he force the conversation. Silently, he helped Shin back into his coat, watching him attentively as they exited the music hall. Everyone else passed like a blur behind them - perfumed women in fur coats, the singers holding large bouquets of flowers, men in gold cufflinks with loud laughter. 

Shin did not register any of it as Wolfgang flagged down one of the cabbies waiting outside the building, telling him their destination. 

He waited for the cab to start moving to begin talking.

“Wolfgang,” He started, hesitating. He thought that he would feel more comfortable away from prying eyes, but the interior offered a new obstacle; it was dark, and they were close together, the air so much warmer. “I am not a woman.” 

Wolfgang let out a short huff, almost a laugh. “You think I do not know that? Shin, you are exceptionally pretty, but I was never confused as to what could be—” He cut himself off. 

“It is not about what is or is not between my legs,” Shin filled in for him, “But rather that you know your duty.” 

That seemed to frustrate Wolfgang. Why, Shin could not imagine. He could see the deep frown illuminated momentarily by the streetlamps they passed, the small clench of his jaw. “I like you  _ because _ you are a man.”

“But—”

“Look, Gareth’s a woman. If I wanted women, I think I would have realised by now.”

“It is not so much about wanting as — Gareth is a woman?” There was a lecture brewing on the tip of Shin’s tongue, but Wolfgang’s confession shocked him. 

General Goldenleonard had, somehow, allowed a woman to enroll under his nose? Shin knew of instances where one might cross dress, of course, and where teachers or officers could close their eyes and look away for the right sum of money, but it did not seem like General Goldenleonard would be bribed like that. From what Shin had heard, the man did not have a good reputation with ladies.

Wolfgang shrugged. “We played together when she was young, and then she followed me to the academy. Mother is sponsoring her education. She’s just as good as any man, so why should it matter?” 

Shin would not let himself be jealous of Gareth, who deserved his place in the academy, but at Wolfgang’s words he could not help but be a bit envious. Perhaps, if he was better at hiding, things would be much simpler.

“Shin,” Wolfgang moved closer, the shaking of the carriage naturally allowing him to invade Shin’s personal space. Not oppressively, but determined nonetheless. “I never wanted to kiss anyone else like that before.” 

Shin came to a decision. 

With purpose, eyes still locked with Wolfgang’s, he knocked loudly on the wood of the cab separating them from the driver, twice to signify his desire to stop. Not having gained speed yet, the two horses were easily reigned in, and Shin opened the door to hop out and exchange words with the cabbie. 

“We have changed our minds. To The Depennia Hotel, please.” Shin offered him a couple of coins, more than enough to cover their trip.

He did not miss the dirty look the man in the driver’s seat sent him. He already knew what the other was thinking - two men, both young, returning from a performance in their best dress seeking to find rooms for the night. Of obvious means, they were certainly not looking for a lodging house to pass the night after work. However, if he spread every rumour out on the wind of two men seeking a night together, then he would be left out to dry without a job - and so Shin would never receive for than a glare, or perhaps a spat insult quietly behind his back. 

Besides, the man was not wrong. Whatever the cab driver was thinking - it was most likely going to occur. 

Shin climbed back in alongside Wolfgang, settling at his side. The younger man reached for his hand again, just like in the theatre, curling them together and pressing closer so that their shoulders touched. He seemed mollified from his earlier outburst at Shin’s questioning, eager to accept Shin’s affection once more. 

“What did you say to him?” Wolfgang asked, curious, then frowned. “We are taking a wrong turn.”

Sighing, Shin looked out of the window momentarily before returning his gaze to Wolfgang, “I spoke to him about taking us to the Depennia Hotel instead.” 

He watched, quietly, as it took a moment for the realisation to dawn on Wolfgang. His smile slipped, a fetching red peeking out from under his collar and on his cheeks. It was almost impossible to see, the passing streetlamps only illuminating bits of Wolfgang at the time, just like the flickering candles earlier but just like then - it was enough. 

“Shin, I did not - if you do not wish to, we must not -”

“Who said I do not wish to?” Shin shushed him. And he did, of course he did. How could he not? Wolfgang looked so right and proper in the dark, and during the day his smile was brilliant. He was loved, even made friends so easily amongst the cadets that steered clear of him because of the way he resembled the general. He was a golden boy if one ever truly existed. 

Shin had also never been kissed so gently before. 

In truth, it made him uncomfortable. When he first met Wolfgang on the train, he thought he could read him well enough. An unfortunate bastard child, born, luckily, to a woman of high standing, wealthy so that he could be sent to achieve decent schooling and be set on his way to a decent, money-making profession. He was boisterous, liked to laugh, liked to  _ flirt _ , regardless of if Shin was a man or not. Still, he treated Shin well. He must have known that Shin was not untouched, even if only guessing by his close friendship with Lord Sys, and  _ still _ , he made no unsolicited moves towards him. He gave no indication of wishing to lay with him because he was an easy prospect. 

It left him floundering. If Wolfgang had been forward, Shin would have sent him on his way. That hesitance, the youthful embarrassment and desire, the way he did not know how to ask for what he wanted - it made warmth bloom in Shin’s chest. Wolfgang had tried so hard to please him, and Shin realised that he missed that attention. It would be no hardship to give Wolfgang what he wanted. None at all. 

“Are you certain?” Wolfgang said, and Shin only smiled in reply. 

He did not confirm with words, but rather with his lips. This time, he was the one to press closer to the younger man, his hand finding purchase on a strong thigh, stroking it through his trousers as he leaned in, breath ghosting over Wolfgang’s lips. He heard Wolfgang’s sharp intake of breath and easily closed the distance, a gloved hand coming up to thread fingers in Wolfgang’s golden locks. 

The kiss started slow, an easy slide of closed lips until Shin pressed forward, mouth opening slightly. He ran his tongue over Wolfgang’s bottom lip, drawing it in when his lips parted, resisting a smile at the soft sound Wolfgang gave. 

Shin normally did not like to kiss.

It took only a moment for Wolfgang to find his bearing. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss too, experimentally letting himself taste Shin’s lips and tongue. His hands found purchase on Shin’s waist, fingers flexing, pulling him closer until he was almost in Wolfgang’s lap. It made Shin’s heart speed up - Wolfgang’s large hands almost spanned the entirety of his waist, his grip gentle but  _ sure _ . He was a very quick learner.

“Oh,” Wolfgang said softly as they parted, eyes half-lidded, staring at Shin as if he hung the moon. “That-”

“Yes,” Shin said, tilting his head again, this time chastely joining their lips, fingers running through Wolfgang’s hair.

He could feel the heat radiating off the younger man, the tensed muscles in his thigh under Shin’s palm. Shin knew that if he only slightly moved his hand, he would find Wolfgang hardening. 

The carriage rocked them against each other, and it would be so easy - so easy for Shin to slide into Wolfgang’s lap and bring him to completion, but Wolfgang deserved to know his first moments of passion as better than that. 

Instead of climbing into Wolfgang’s lap and letting the rocking of the cab be what unmade them, Shin calmed their kisses down, gently guiding Wolfgang in what to do - how to give slow and syrupy kisses with the right amount of tongue to tease and excite, hands leaving Wolfgang’s hair to show him where to put his own so that they lay on the small of Shin’s back and made him arch into Wolfgang’s chest. 

The cab stopped, sharply veering into the lane with the entrance to the hotel. Shin drew back from Wolfgang, holding a hand to his chest as the younger man dipped forward to chase his lips. “Straighten your clothes,” He told him, carefully patting his jacket as free of the wrinkles of wandering hands as he could. 

It was late enough that no one was in the entrance hall, just a tired busboy in uniform, who quickly stood up and covered a yawn behind his hand when Shin strode in, Wolfgang a couple of steps behind him. 

“I am a friend of Lord Sys,” Shin told him, his friend’s name stressed. 

The boy looked them over once, mumbled something under his breath and reached into a drawer, placing the room key he took out into Shin’s waiting palm. “Room 23,” He said, jerking his head towards the staircase. “Thank you, sirs.”

“Lord Ulysses frequents this hotel?” Wolfgang asked, looking around as they ascended the stairs. The building was clean and well-made, but obviously not what one would assume served as a favourite residence of a lord. It was dark, and the entrance did not lead to the main road. 

“Lord Ulysses and others like him, yes.” 

Shin unlocked the door, turning on the gas lamps. The room was large, but modest, with one bed and a small bedside cupboard, as well as a vanity mirror and table pushed off to the side. 

Hearing Wolfgang shuffle his feet as he closed the door behind them, Shin took a breath. He realised he would have to guide Wolfgang through it, that the other was no doubt nervous - he did not mind it. Even though Wolfgang did not know how to approach, he certainly knew how to pick up, as his kisses showed. 

Shin turned around carefully, facing Wolfgang, his flushed neck now visible in proper lighting. Maintaining eye contact, Shin reached up to unravel his cravat, popping open the two upmost buttons on his collar. He let the silky material of the cravat drape open on his chest, watching as Wolfgang’s eyes slowly followed the revealed column of Shin’s throat. 

He came closer, fingers deftly untying Wolfgang’s own cravat, the younger man gulping visibly, hands nervously finding purchase on Shin’s waist. “You must not be shy with me,” Shin murmured, sliding the cravat open and dropping it at their feet. “Where did the man from the theatre go?”

Wolfgang shook his head, eyes flicking from Shin’s exposed skin to meet his gaze. “I am afraid that if I misstep then this vision before me will disappear.”

Shin smiled, and if that smile was edged with bitterness, then that was only for him to know. 

He stepped away, backing towards the bed, his hands pushing off his jacket and laying it on the back of the chair in front of the vanity table. His fingers began unbuttoning more of his shirt. Wolfgang, as if drawn in by a string, followed him. 

“Tell me, cadet Wolfgang, have you ever fucked a man?” Shin touched Wolfgang’s face with the palm of his hand. This time, his smile was gentle.

The younger man’s answering blush, this time high above his collar and on his cheeks, was answer enough. He did not want to embarrass himself, but also did not know how to lie to Shin. There was no need to lie, either — Shin knew but needed to confirm.

“A woman?” 

Something in Shin’s chest tightened like a fist when in return he received Wolfgang’s silence. “Then I will teach you.” 

He kissed Wolfgang again, open and wet and enough to leave him gasping, hands immediately making their way to Shin’s hips. When Wolfgang bucked forward, seeking friction, Shin smirked against his lips, shifting his hips away,  _ teasing _ . In answer, Wolfgang groaned, low and throaty. 

Without warning, Shin fell to his knees, looking up at Wolfgang and hearing his surprised gasp; seeing his wide eyes.

He did not find himself in this position often; as greedy and unbecoming as it was, he preferred to receive - loved being spread across the bed and teased until he was almost crying. But that did not mean he could not make it good for Wolfgang, make him tear up just like Shin liked, squirming in pleasure under his hands. If it was for one night, then Shin wanted to show him how good it could be. He wanted to show him because that same selfish part of him that liked the unspeakable wished that Wolfgang would remember this always.

He did not pull Wolfgang’s pants down yet, instead leaning forward and rubbing his nose and lips against the bulge in his trousers, humming at the hardness he felt rising. It was heady, the knowledge that he excited this handsome man, made him come undone with nothing other than a few kisses and well-placed touches. 

With a soft moan, Shin parted his lips, closing them over Wolfgang’s length. He wet the material with his tongue, closing his eyes. He could already feel that Wolfgang was large, that he would fit so well in his hand, thick and hot, and fill his mouth just right. 

“Shin, Shin,” Wolfgang repeated, his hand floundering, finding purchase at the back of Shin’s neck. 

Shin looked up, his hands reaching to unfasten Wolfgang’s trousers, his lips curling. “You may pull my hair.” 

Wolfgang closed his eyes for a brief moment, his hand coming up to clutch weakly at Shin’s dark hair, fingers gentle. 

Shin gasped when he uncovered Wolfgang’s cock. It had felt large under his mouth, tucked in his pants, but he did not expect his size. 

“Shin?” Wolfgang asked, this time sounding worried. 

With a loose grip, Shin wrapped his hand around Wolfgang’s dick. Leaning his head against Wolfgang’s hip, he huffed a small laugh.

“My God, Wolfgang, how do you expect me to fit you in my mouth?” 

He would give it a good try. Shin always liked men a little larger than average, bringing that sting with the stretch as they slid into Shin. If they knew what to do, it was maddening; the edge bringing sparks of pleasure down Shin’s back. 

With a deft hand, he stroked Wolfgang to hardness, kissing along his hip bone and listening to the breathy sounds that the younger man tried to cover with the back of his hand. It did not take long, his cock filling out quickly, wetness glistening at the tip. 

Looking up, Shin first slid his lips against Wolfgang’s length, wetting it and smoothing the stroke of his hand, leaving open-mouthed kisses against the flushed skin. He opened his mouth around the head, lapping off the taste of Wolfgang’s desire, before closing his lips around it. 

The hand in his hair tightened fractionally. Wolfgang’s eyes were squeezed closed. 

Shin never grew hard as a result of using his mouth to pleasure another, but looking at Wolfgang it was impossible not to. Wolfgang wore his feelings on his face, and his pleasure covered every crevice of it, from the slightly open mouth to the fluttering lashes. His cock was heavy in Shin’s mouth, too large to fit properly, Shin’s hand covering what he could not reach with his lips.

“Shin, I am going to, I-” Wolfgang gasped, his hips jerking, not knowing whether to buck into Shin’s mouth or away from it. 

Shin grasped Wolfgang’s hips, pulling off his length with a wet pop of his lips. His jaw already began to ache. 

“I know, Wolfgang,” He told him, his hand continuing to stroke Wolfgang’s cock, swiping the precum that gathered at the head with his thumb. “That is why. If you take me now, before releasing at least once, you will not last a moment,” Shin lowered his voice into a coo, leaning forward to press a kiss to the tip of Wolfgang’s dick, smirking as he held it against his cheek. “And I would like to get  _ fucked _ .” 

He felt Wolfgang’s hips twitch under his grip, and he quickly took Wolfgang’s dick back in his mouth, quickening his pace. He started slowly, tasting him and enjoying the thickness in his throat, and now intended to bring the younger man to completion; his mouth and hand working in tandem, tears pressing at his eyes as he took Wolfgang in deeper. 

The grip in Shin’s hair loosened and tightened, Wolfgang valiantly trying not to hurt him while lost in pleasure, hips bucking forward enough to choke. 

It did not take long. Shin felt Wolfgang’s approaching orgasm in the way he lost control of his hand in his hair, the way his thighs shook where Shin was practically buried between them. He managed not to choke, pulling back just in time for Wolfgang to fill his mouth, his only warning a short, bitten-off moan. 

When Shin looked up, swallowing and running his tongue over his bottom lip for show, he noticed that Wolfgang had buried his teeth in the back of his hand, the marks clearly visible. 

He stood up, kissing Wolfgang and letting him taste himself on his tongue, pressing his own hardness against his leg. 

“Lay down on the bed,” Shin told him, gently pushing Wolfgang down to sit against the headboard, seeing that his legs were still a little shaky. “I need to prepare myself.”

“Prepare yourself?” Wolfgang echoed, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt to drop it over the side of the bed. 

“Mm,” Shin found Wolfgang sweet. He leaned over to give him another kiss, cupping his softening cock. “I cannot just slide this into me like a woman. Even with a woman, you would have to get her ready for a long time, to let her feel it without pain.” 

“Oh.” Wolfgang blushed. 

Shin walked around to the bedside table, opening the drawer. He took out the jar of lubricant, dropping it beside Wolfgang on the mattress. He stripped the rest of the way, stepping out of his trousers and dropping his shirt, feeling the heat of Wolfgang’s eyes travel down his body. He shoved down the embarrassment that reared its ugly head; he was not as handsome as Wolfgang, did not have the same contours of the body, but he also knew that sometimes that delicate cut of the wait, the slender neck, appealed to men more than the strength did. 

He climbed astride Wolfgang, bending at the waist to kiss him once more. 

Fingers dipping into the jar, he reached behind himself, pressing one finger into his hole.

“Hold me open,” He hissed a sigh against Wolfgang’s lips, the hand that was not moving in and out of his entrance grasping at Wolfgang’s wrist, bringing it around to grip his ass, pulling his cheeks open. With satisfaction, he watched Wolfgang’s flushed face, pleased when he felt his cock stir again where it was pressed up against the inside of his thigh. 

He was perfunctory with it, adding a second finger when he deemed himself stretched enough, scissoring them open to ease the way for Wolfgang’s cock. He arched forward when the pads of his fingers brushed against the pleasurable spot inside of him, the angle was awkward but just enough. 

Wolfgang would fill him up so well. He would not even have to try to reach Shin’s prostate, and the thought of him rubbing up against it inside made Shin work with his fingers quicker, slipping in a third and gasping at the slight burn. 

He opened his eyes and saw Wolfgang watching him, his breath held. 

“Soohyuk,” He said.

Shin paused. 

“Sorry,” Wolfgang rushed to say. “I just read that in the east, your family name comes first, so Soohyuk must be your first name. If you prefer me to call you Shin, I will, but I thought, perhaps, it is because no one cared to learn how to pronounce Soohyuk that you go by it.”

The only people who called Shin Soohyuk were his mother and father. Not even Sys, who he knew since childhood, called him Soohyuk unless in most intimate moments. It was a sacred name, a name that Shin took with him when he left home, one that he held close to his chest, protected. He had not been Soohyuk for a long time. It was a raw name, childlike and unstained. 

Wolfgang said it in a stilted way, but he had tried; he probably practised. 

Shin leaned down to kiss him again, sufficiently distracting him. “Call me Shin. I do like it better.” 

“Alright. Alright, Shin,” Wolfgang said against his lips, his hand tightening on his ass, fingers digging in. He would leave marks. Bruises. He spread him wider, rushing up so that Shin was sat up, his other hand wrapping around his waist, pulling him flush against the other man. “You are the most beautiful.” 

Shin moaned against his mouth, quickening the movements of his hand, slipping in his pinky finger alongside the others buried in his hole. 

Now wholly stretched, Shin did not pause to think, he took his fingers out and dipped his hand in the jar again, coating it liberally in lubricant and reaching back, wrapping his hand around Wolfgang’s cock, now hard and straining against Shin’s buttocks, to slick it up. 

Locking eyes with Wolfgang, Shin sank down on Wolfgang’s cock. 

“Fuck,” Wolfgang whispered, dropping his head to Shin’s shoulder, fervently pressing his lips there. 

It was good. It was blindingly good. It was not a smooth slide, even with Shin’s preparation, but Wolfgang split him open just right. He surrounded him, his heat inside and out, his mouth a spot of warmth on his skin. 

“You’re so tight,” Wolfgang said, biting into Shin’s shoulder. 

“Am I?” Shin said, smiling, hands coming to clutch at Wolfgang’s shoulders as he lifted his hips, feeling the slow slide of Wolfgang’s cock. His paused when only the tip was inside, before sinking down again, moaning as the younger man penetrated him, sending sparks racing down his spine. “Tell me how it feels.”

“So hot, so, so hot,” Wolfgang answered immediately, “It is maddening. Shin - Shin, can I move? Let me move.” 

“No, not yet.” Shin dug his nails into Wolfgang’s shoulders. “Let me feel it. Let me enjoy it like this.” 

He moved his hips slowly, savouring it, feeling the slow drag of the thick cock against his prostate, angling his hips so that it pressed against it better. He felt powerful, and that was an odd feeling because Shin did not associate this aspect of sex with power. It certainly felt like that, though, when Wolfgang looked at him with  _ those  _ eyes, when he lowered his lashes and tightened his grip, obviously holding back from thrusting up. 

He could not listen for long. 

Gasping past bitten lips, Wolfgang clutched at his hips, mumbled a quick ‘sorry’, and rolled Shin over on the bed. 

Shin gasped, unprepared, his hands still left gripping onto Wolfgang’s shoulders as Wolfgang hitched his legs up over his arms, pressing into him with his cock and his whole body, shoving him up the bed with the force of his first thrust. Shin moaned, loudly, unabashed, his head falling back into the pillow. 

Wolfgang started  _ fucking  _ into him. Truly fucking into him, hard aborted thrusts of his hips that sent the bed hitting the wall and Shin could not help but think - God, if there are people in the neighbouring rooms, they could no doubt hear. They would hear how good Wolfgang was giving it to him. 

It was messy, dirty, Wolfgang’s thrusts erratic, but his cock filled Shin up so well and pressed in all the sensitive spots that the fire threatened to consume him in mere moments. The new position opened Shin up more, offered a new angle, and he was so hard it almost hurt. 

“Tell me how to - ah - make you come,” Wolfgang leaned down, kissing behind Shin’s ear, down to his collarbone, his lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. “I want to make you spill all over yourself. Shin, Shin, please.”

Shin could not answer. His voice was caught in his throat, muffled by soft whimpers that he could not control, not when he lifted a hand to his mouth and Wolfgang immediately pulled it away, kissing the knuckles before pressing it down on the bed, opening Shin’s mouth for the taking. 

“There, right there, just -” He needed a little more, just a little more. 

Wolfgang understood. He pulled back, snapping his hips, and suddenly Shin could not think anymore. His brain filled with fog - how could Wolfgang thrust so well, hit the spot so good, when he had never been with a man before? It was too disorientating, too heady. He felt Wolfgang brush a curious hand against his cock and that touch was his undoing. 

With a moan, Shin spilled over himself and Wolfgang’s hand, weakly digging fingers into the younger man’s shoulder and twisting the cover of the bed in a fist. 

It did not take long for Wolfgang to follow. He had obviously been holding himself back. Leaning forth he kissed Shin’s mouth, his arms dropping Shin’s legs as he held his waist down. “Can I - inside? Please, Shin, it is so hot -”

“Yes,” Shin kissed back, the drag of Wolfgang’s cock now bordering on painful but still so, so good, even in his post-orgasmic haze. 

With a soft moan and a stutter of his hips, Wolfgang came, and Shin thought he could almost feel the heat of him. Claiming him.

Wolfgang did not collapse on Shin, which Shin was thankful for, because as attractive as Wolfgang’s form was, he did not fancy it crushing him into the bed. He settled against his side instead, wrapping an arm around his waist and kissing a bare shoulder, rubbing his golden hair there. 

Shin slowly calmed down, the heat dissipating from his sweaty skin. It took a while but, slowly, his thoughts returned to him. He realised that, soon, he would have to leave. He could not keep this, he could not keep Wolfgang’s warmth against his back, or his lips, soothing the bite mark that he left on Shin’s shoulder. 

He thought so, until he felt Wolfgang’s trailing hands, that had been stroking Shin’s thighs through the aftershocks of his orgasm, trail a little too close to his front. 

“Wolfgang,” Shin said, warningly.

He turned his head to the side and saw Wolfgang’s wide smile, the one that showed all his teeth. In the light of the gas lamps, he was glowing. 

“Do you not think it unfair that I found my release with you twice, but you only once?” Wolfgang asked, innocently, pressing another chaste kiss to Shin’s shoulder. 

“That-” Shin started, finding himself tongue-tied. 

“Again,” Wolfgang said, rolling Shin over to his side properly. He pressed in closer, covering him from head to toe, his cock somehow hard again and jutting hot and needy against his skin. His hands ran over the damp skin of Shin’s inner thigh, groping at his buttocks, fingers spreading them and dipping where Shin was still loose and wet from Wolfgang’s spend. “One more time, Shin.”

Shin moaned. 

This time, Wolfgang slid into Shin with barely any resistance, He fucked forward, leaving wet kisses against the back of Shin’s neck, and rocked them together, his hand jerking Shin’s cock in time with his thrusts. 

It did not take him long to come a third time, and he stayed inside Shin, stroking him until he came too, all over Wolfgang’s fist, and only then pulled out, wiping his hand on the bedspread. 

It was so good Shin could have cried. 

They stayed like that, breathing together, for longer. Shin could barely feel his legs, and it took him longer to find his bearings. He was wrung out, and he wanted to fall asleep, held in Wolfgang’s arms, but he could not. So he waited - he waited until he heard Wolfgang’s breaths even out and his grip grow lax before he lifted his arm and slipped out of the bed, as quietly as he could. 

He had finished pulling on his trousers and was digging in his jacket for his cigarette case when Wolfgang woke up with a rustle of the sheets. 

“Shin? Are you cold?”

Shin did not look at him. “No.” 

“Then come back.” 

He lit a match, bringing it to the cigarette and lighting it, taking in a drag. It went straight to his head, his limbs already loose from his two orgasms. There was a tense moment of silence when Wolfgang simply watched him from beneath the covers, eyes focused on the flickering light poised between two elegant fingers. 

“Was it what you wanted?” Shin ground the cigarette into the chipped crystal ashtray on the table. 

Wolfgang started. “Shin, I did not intend - whatever do you mean, I -”

“Wolfgang,” Shin interrupted, not loudly, but with a firm tone. “I will leave first and return to the academy. Stay overnight, and if anyone asks where you were tomorrow, tell them you spent the night at your mother’s home.” He pulled on his jacket and leaned in closer to the vanity mirror, trying to set his hair straight and appear decent. It was hard when he could still feel Wolfgang’s spend on the inside of his thighs. “I know it may be tempting to tell your friends, but for the sake of us do not say anything incriminating, anything at all that may make its way back to General Goldenleonard.”

In the meantime, Wolfgang sat up. After Shin finished speaking, he frowned, clenching his jaw. “You think I would boast about this?” 

Shin wondered why he seemed so offended. “It is only an expected reaction.” 

Wolfgang’s frustration deflated immediately. He was too tired, his expression dropped. Shin’s chest ached for a moment; he did not intend for that to happen. He wanted it to be as painless for Wolfgang as possible, to give him what he wanted - was it not enough? 

“Shin, you must know that I -”

“I will see you at the academy, Wolfgang.” Shin interrupted, opening the door. “Please do not be too late.”

He leaned against it when it closed with a click, catching his breath. 

Downstairs, he saw the tired boy again, who sat up upon seeing him. “My friend has had too much to drink,” Shin told him, schooling his voice into that of a gentleman who did not spend half an hour on his knees, choking on another's cock. “Please bring him breakfast in the morning.”

He paid the boy for the night, for breakfast, and for his secrecy. 

On the way back to the academy, in the cab that he caught in the middle of the street, Shin pressed his forehead against the window, feeling the uneven cobblestone rattle the glass. The pain in his back and in his legs was no longer pleasant. It stung, and it felt shameful, the rocking of the cab only making it all the more uncomfortable and unbearable, making him shift every few minutes. He thought that it would be a wonder if he could walk properly the next day at all. 

It was so late that the gate of the academy was closed. Shin had to knock on the wrought iron to call to attention one of the guards, who unhurriedly sauntered up, peering through the bars at him. 

“Why so late, Mr Shin?” He asked, tilting his head. 

“I visited a friend’s house, then realised I should have an early start on my work tomorrow,” Shin said easily. 

The guard unlocked the door and let him through, his expression drawn. Before Shin could pass him by, he started speaking again. “General Goldenleonard does not like it when others touch his things.”

Shin did not reply. 

On his way up to his rooms, he was caught by the man himself. 

“I was looking for you earlier, Mr Shin.” General Goldenleonard was wearing his night robe, his gaze searching. 

Shin was suddenly hyper-aware of how he looked. He barely had enough time to put his clothes on correctly, desiring to leave the room with Wolfgang as quickly as possible to not second-guess himself. His hair was unruly, the ends sweaty, his cheeks flushed. He knew he looked well-fucked. General Goldenleonard probably knew it too. Shin wanted to make himself small, smaller, to hide from his searching gaze. Instead, he kept his face half-hidden from the older man. 

“I was with a friend. We were watching a performance together, but I worried about making it in time to begin our meeting regarding your investments tomorrow.” 

“Well, I am awake now,” General Goldenleonard said, his voice low, and Shin pointedly did not look at his smile. 

“My apologies, it will not happen again.”

“It had better not. I like knowing where my employees are. And for them to set good examples to the cadets.”

“Yes, sir.” Shin saw it as General Goldenleonard’s unvoiced cue allowing him to leave, and he did not waste time, turning around to continue to his rooms. 

“Oh, Mr Shin? You would not have happened to see cadet Wolfgang on your way back? He has also not come back so far.” 

Shin stopped. “No, sir, I have not. But I am certain he is quite alright. He is young, it is not out of character for the cadets to stay away during the weekend nights.” 

“Yes, young,” General Goldenleonard mused behind him. “Cadet Wolfgang is, indeed, young. Though of marriageable age.”

“Yes, I suppose he is,” Shin said, carefully, before continuing down the hall. His head hurt. “Goodnight, sir.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Wolfshin are definitely not on the same page here. While they enjoy the sex, Shin goes into it with the mindset of doing a 'favour' for Wolfgang by helping him lose his virginity and being a stepping-stone towards further relationships that Wolfgang may have. Wolfgang, on the other hand, believes, until the end, that this is purely happening because they are both attracted to each other. 
> 
> Shin undergoes several moments of self-criticism based on having sex and feeling impure. 
> 
> I think this is all for the warnings. 
> 
> Fun fact: the lubricant they use is vaseline petrolium jelly, which, at that moment in time, would've already been pretty widely used as lube. Although most would've probably just gone with spit, Lord Sys' name opens some doors in terms of rooms with luxury for gay clients.

**Author's Note:**

> Give me a follow on kmtwt at xenxentalks!


End file.
